


chaser of faith

by stray_dog_sick



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Break Up, M/M, cape town
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 01:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11772828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stray_dog_sick/pseuds/stray_dog_sick
Summary: Brendon and Ryan seemed to have different ideas about where Ryan was spending the night.





	chaser of faith

**Author's Note:**

> peru story: so while we were in peru the border control went on strike and there was a ~state of emergency~ which was good fun
> 
> this was an exercise called "what's the least amount of words i can use to make elia cry"
> 
> title from 'the calendar' by panic! at the disco

Of all the things Brendon expected to see when he walked into his hotel room, Ryan packing his suitcase was not one of them. “Dude, we’re spending the night here, what are you doing?”

Ryan jumped when Brendon spoke, and then went completely still. “You’re spending the night here,” he said quietly.

Ryan had his back to Brendon, so the younger man couldn’t read his expression. “And where are you going, then?” he asked. Ryan often confused him, but this felt different than usual.

“Jon and I are heading back to America tonight,” Ryan answered. He still didn’t turn to look at Brendon.

“What, did the record label set something up for the two of you?” Brendon walked over to sit behind Ryan. “Because we had plans too, baby.”

“Don’t call me that,” Ryan whispered, leaving Brendon even more confused. He’d never objected to pet names before. “And no, they didn’t. We’re going.”

“Sick of South Africa already?” Brendon joked, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

Ryan’s shoulders dropped, and he slumped forwards over his suitcase. “No, Brendon,” he sighed. “We’re leaving the band.”

Brendon felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been tipped over his head. “You’re what?” he heard someone ask. It had to be him because there was no one else in the room, but he didn’t think he was capable of breathing, let alone talking.

“Jon and I are leaving the band.”

So Brendon had heard correctly. “You can’t do that. Why are you doing that?”

Ryan sighed again. He’d been doing that a lot. “We can, and we will. We’ve just got different music to make.”

“That’s bullcrap, and you know it!” Brendon yelled. He didn’t know how thick the hotel walls were, but he was past the point of caring who heard. Ryan couldn’t just leave the band he’d started. “What did I do?”

“It’s not you,” Ryan insisted. “We’ve just got different ideas of where the music should go, it’s not working-”

“Do you love me?”

Brendon’s interruption left Ryan silent for a few seconds. “Don’t ask me that,” he said finally, hunching forward even more.

“Oh, so of all the questions I’ve asked tonight, that’s the one you can’t answer?” Brendon glared at the back of Ryan’s head. “We’ve been together years, Ryan. Do you even love me?”

“I don’t believe in love,” Ryan answered, so quietly that Brendon struggled to hear it. “I’m leaving. You can’t stop me.”

“Fine,” Brendon said. He was heartbroken; he didn’t have any energy left to be angry. “Just go.”

Ryan turned as he stood, letting Brendon see his face for the first time. He wasn’t crying. Brendon found that funny because he certainly was.

“One more question,” he said just as Ryan reached the door, suitcase in hand. “Are you going to tell Spencer? You’re his best friend. He loves you too.”

Ryan leaned his head against the doorframe, and Brendon wished once again that he could see Ryan’s face from his place on the bedroom floor. “He’ll get over it.”

The door closed before Brendon could get another word in. As if they could just get over it.

He found it funny, though, that the best part of his life started and ended with closing doors.


End file.
